You're 13 and I'm sure you're probably wondering "who is this, and how the fuck does this perv know how old I am?" Well, its your future self. I know what you're going through and let me tell you, IT'S GONNA BE OKAY! You don't speak much, mainly because you're shy, but also because I think you have too much to say that people just won't understand, but I have some great news. They don't need to! as long as eventually you do. Yes, you are weird, accept it, embrace it NOW because you will feel bad for not doing so. You are beginning to lose your innocence now and cursing like a $2 house whore, so for those that feel a certain a way about how you talk, act, dress, or even the music you listen to feel free to bless them with a sarcastic FUCK YOU! Be proud of yourself at all times, because even though at some points you'll want to break, you will do well, you really will. There'll be a few years where it'll get to you, and I can't deny you the truth about that. It will hurt, and you'll do some stupid things, but you'll smile again I promise you. Just keep looking forward, don't let people hold you back no matter how hard they try to break you.
I know it's too late to warn you because you've already started a relationship with someone you think is your world and I'm pretty sure you two have already had sex, I know everything seems so right when y'all are together but end it NOW, you will have serious problems in the near future around your first year of high school it's a whirlwind of jealousy but you being the hard headed little shit you are, you're not going to listen & choose to see for yourself. It will make you a very dark and evil person, learn the lessons from this "love", but also learn to accept real love, it's important.
I know you have your heart set on going to Howard University...bad news...YOU'RE NOT GOING! (MOM WON!) but that's fine you'll make a home at Jackson State University and you'll have some amazing friends! and one that's very fake, but please don't change your major stick with your first choice of Advertising no matter how mad the department will make you (and they will). Know that your family is awesome, especially Mom you two are like bestfriends and that bond is going to grow even tighter. I know you and your brother are ALWAYS at war but he's just trying to make you stronger for the real world, your relationship will get closer when you leave for school. Spend more time with your grandpa, memorize his laughter, his strong yet gentle touch, and the way he looks at you like a dear child. His fatherly love will be a great fountain of warmth you’ll always go back to when times become hard and wearisome.
Most importantly you have an amazing, artistic soul in you, explore it and express it very well. When things get tough, pick up a pen and just let go. I promise, it works!
The ONLY acceptable requirement for the affection of another human being is that you BE YOURSELF